Dear Nothing More

Dear Nothing More,

I used to be a big deal in high school. I was king of the gridiron! I was a Friday night hero! Then I had a little incident. I was caught wearing a dress once, and suddenly I’m stripped of all my fame and glory. Well, I’m a college student now, and I think it’s time for a new beginning. I’ve been thinking of trying out for the football team, but I’m worried about having a repeat incident. Is there a way to balance my love of football with my desire to wear pretty, pretty dresses?

Missing the Game in Moore

Missing the Game in Moore:
We all face situations in which we find ourselves in women’s dresses (literally or figuratively). It’s all about confidence, my friend. Do not fear your “not-so feminine” friends; instead, strut your stuff confidently. Do this and respect will pour in from your peers like blood to the genitals of a Viagra popping elder.

Dear Nothing More,

I love football games. There’s nothing that pumps me up more then screaming like a Mimi in the stands. Unfortunately, the people around me don’t seem to appreciate my school spirit. Every time I open my mouth to let loose an ear splintering, team inspiring hoot or holler, all I hear is angry grumbles and foul words from my stadium-mates. I thought I was attending a football game, not a quiet people convention! What makes me even madder is that my boyfriend doesn’t back me up. Whenever somebody tells me to shut up, he just turns away embarrassed. Shouldn’t he stand up for me? Can’t a woman have a little high-decibel spirit without being looked at like a monster? I just want to show my love for the team.

Loud in Lechner


Loud in Lechner:
The answer to this question is pure and simple. Bring your audible spirit for football to Zapatos Cantina this Thursday, Sept. 14. We embrace our high decibel friends. In fact, if you chose to come, you will meet many spirited students like yourself. Maybe if you get yourself all dressed up, you’ll even find a new guy who also screams eagerly like a 14-year old girl at the sight of the infamous four-man bass solo. Git y’er dancin’ shoes on, Lechner.